LAWD HELP ME JESUS

Okay so this morning I did good I got up and was at Sunday School a little bit late. But, I was there for my job ( I am sort of the disc jockey for the church) ( it is so corney but I like it). Mother Allen ( this really old lady who is just so flyyy her hair, her aura, her clothes SHE IS SO FLYY.) was all like I'm so glad you made it to do your job baby, God is going to bless you. I felt good. The really cute boy was there today I sat next to him in Sunday School. I want to talk to him. Is it wrong to think like this in church? (yes, but what is the difference where I think it God is everywhere) Then the pastors wife came in and she was setting up and then she started talking to me about what music we are playing today. I have a bad habit of smiling I do it to much. so then she was like your dimples are so cute. (I hate my dimples they look like someone shot a bullet through my cheeks when I was a baby.)( But, I have learned to like them) You must get all the girls, those dimples are going to get you in trouble with the girls. You have a girlfriend? I hate when older women always ask me this question. I can't yell no I like boys. Especially since mom was there. AND we are in church. So I just smiled it off. I have to find an answer to this question. ( At least til I come out lol)

So I felt like a sinner for doing gay things in church. While doing mic checks. I opened up my moms bible to find a scripture to recite before church started. But they didn't make us do recitals today. But they did have a read along scripture so I turn and i'm reading along and my mom's bible says nothing that they are saying. I look at the front and it says NEW KING JAMES VERSION. I got kind of mad, how are these people (bible company)continually rewriting the bible. It is supposed to be holy and sacred and you are just rewriting it to whatever. Then I started glancing through the index, and then I saw homosexuality, ( it sparked my interest) I turned to the scripture and it says something totally different from the King James Version. 1 Corinthians 6:9 it names who won't be going to heaven and it clearly says homosexuals the real bible doesn't say that. How is someone going to come and translate the bible to something more current and be wrong with it. Would you translate Shakespeare. (Oh wait they do translate his text leaving them amess. Example Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio was a mess) (I love ya Shakespeare) Church goes on and I was into everything clapping, singing, listening to the word of God. And I payed my pledge for the new church I am so proud of myself to be a blessing to the body of God.

After church mom went to the store down the street, and I talked to her about the converstaion that my father and I had that morning. ( I will talk of that tomorrow) I was still kind of mixed up about the bible. As soon as we get home I go get my bible and look at the beginning and it says: THE HOLY BIBLE CONTAINING THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENT. Translated out of Original tongues and with the former translations diligently compared and revised by his majesty's special command.

WHAT. I was taught very young that if you missed an and in the bible that you were wrong and reading and saying scripture. And these people are revising this sacred book. What does that mean are there more books in the bible did they take scriptures out. Then the fact that it was translated. The bible for those that don't know was written in Latin and Hebrew and they are being translated to English and other languages but are they losing their meaning. YES. I think that they are, first of all I'm sure that Latin written at the beginning of time would be hard to translate. Also the timeline of the bible is like thousands of years one generations lived like 800 years. SO why does the language stay the same after thousands of years. Noone talks with the same talk of the nineties now. So why would Jesus and and Moses speak the same way when they were thousands of years apart. Second, translations are very difficult. While reading Digital Fortress a character uses Spanish several times and when the author translated it it didn't mean what it was supposed to. ( Dan Brown Salida means exit not LET ME OUT.) If they take effeminate in the regular King James and turn it into homosexuals. Then what is it in Hebrew. I am so confused I need to learn Hebrew and Latin so I can read the bible the original text and establish myself from there.

I DON"T WANNA GO TO HELL (lol, but who does)

LAWD HELP ME JESUS

G-mom has a doctor s appointment tomorrow and now mom want me to come, I think I will.


P.S Lemme go do the dishes and then I can curl up with some Nikki Giovanni, Vanilla Ice cream, and chocolate cookies.


-Marz

Boredom

During the summer in my household, my sister, mom , and I do nothing while my father goes to work.( Mommy works as a crossing guard so she out for the summer.) Sometimes we go shopping or something, but, usually we do nothing but stay in the house all day. This has been our agenda for the last week, today we went shopping but it was quick and then we returned home. Every summer around this time I am complaining about how bored I am. I decided that this summer would be different and to prevent my boredom I would apply to several jobs and someone would hire me. Not so. I haven't been called by any jobs. And I'm not going to stress over it. I have even given up on calling Old Navy which is the job I really wanted. Because it was downtown and I could have something to do with my summer, make some money, get clothes from there the GAP and Banana Republic with a discount, and very cute boys shop there. ( I would know I'm one of them lol) So not only would I make money have something to obtain with my time, get flyy clothes from three banging stores. I could meet many potential boyfriends. ( Teardrop lol) But, it wasn't for me and I have realized it.

However, I am still here bored with the two crazy ladies that are trying to make me go to an asylum in September instead of school. But, I have learned to treasure being bored. I know that sometime this year when I am busy and I want to slow down but can't. I'll regret the time I had to be bored and do nothing. I also realized that complaining is something and it is a waste of my voice, time, and effort. Effort that could be better utilized in relaxing. I know that we aren't going anywhere this summer so why complain that we aren't. I have probably wasted an hour this summer already complaining, and that time could have been used better.

I have finally finished Digital Fortress. The book was horrible, I wonder if after being a English teacher long enough you can't distinguish good literature from the bad. That must be why they picked it for the summer reading project. Now I have to finish three essays a vocabulary list, and a reading log. But, that will be easy. Also, to prepare for school I am going to set aside time to study for the PSAT, and recap on Chemistry. (SING IT JILL. I AM NOT AFRAID) Now i can focus on reading jill scotts book the second time and reflecting upon it.

I need to note this: WATCH OUT FOR DAD. He yelled at Gabrielle like he caught her having sex, because she gave the cat too much cat food. It was crazy. SO i need to be careful cause whenever he gets stressed out he takes his anger out on me. AND according to his last anger takeout installment. I think that I am bigger than him and want to fight him. If I don't like it in his house I will be sent to military school, and that if I think i'm too big for a belt then he will get a baseball bat. He has obviously lost his mind because i don't even talk to the man. I don't try to look at him I try not to waste my senses on him because lately he is acting like he is threatened by me (cause I am like an inch or three taller than him). I hate to generalize but straight men make me laugh so hard at their foolishness. And it's sad to say but they will forever have me rolling.


( I tried to write a poem here but it wasn't working lol) I'll try again when I'm feeling more poetic.

Love God,Love Life, Love yourself, Love Love and one day it might love you back.




(but we all know love love's noonelol)

-Marz

!!¿¿WHAT??!!!

My mother seems to find it convenient to ask me every five mintues a question that makes no sense at all. She asks me after ten minutes of me being downstairs. Did I eat breakfast? And What did I eat? I am so mad at her always treating me like I am three I don't know why every year she gets more clingy than the year before what is wrong with her. What does it matter what i ate I do believe I can make a square meal. Then she ask me What am I turning on the televisionm to watch. It is 2 o'clock in the afternoon I mean I don't think that they would broadcast pornography or something like thaton regular tv. What comes on at 2 pm that is so horrible. I am tired of arguing so I just say Starting Over.( I wasn't tired it was just to early to fight or be sarcastic) Then I have to deal with her asking me what am i Doing every five minutes. We don't go anywhere and there is nothing to do in this house and she keeps making it seem like I am selling drugs. She needs to grow up and move on and enjoy having teenagers she keeps referring to people on the phones about her children and they swear that she has like toddlers no you have two teens.

She is starting to get on my nerves, and she won't be happy when I start to get on her nerves. Then she will start telling me that the devil is working through me and I need to pray. ( i've already been told this like ten times today) Maybe I should just pray then I will be alright. Right now she is asking who am I online with. WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHO I AM ONLINE WITH. AND JUST BECAUSE I"M TYPING DOESN"T MEAN I AM IMMING SOMEONE I AM TYPING IN MY BLOG.

I hope we go somewhere tomorrow this house is driving me insane.

-Marz

Well today was interesting. Not for me but for my mother. I told her to bring me but she didn't. So I sat around the house and read my summer reading book. ( Digital fortress is a piece of trash I can't believe that I touch it without gloves). SO I watch starting over then around mom comes in and she has school supplies ( that made me so angry I grabbed the bag and threw it) Then she is like give me a hug making me think that someone has died then she goes on to tell me about grandma's appointment.

Grandma was at the hospital with my mom, aunt Gina, and my five year old cousin Darius. She talks to my mom about her spiritual life and says that Gina doesn't believe her. Then when Gina came back into the room she starts talking about how it isn't her fault that she has cancer. Because she was helping someone else in her old people's home, and that it couldn't have been found earlier and all this other mess and then Gina got extra mad and start telling her that she couldn't blame it on Ethel ( the lady she was helping). Because, Gina was trying to set up appointments for her for the last two years. Then grandma started cursing really bad( according to my mom the cuss words weren't meeting correctly) and then she said something about grandpa her ex husband and how Gina would care more if it was him then Gina supposedly almost swung on her. Then she told her that she was leaving and the next time she would see her was at her funeral, and to take her name of the insurance and whatever other money she would be receiving. Then she grabbed all the bags and stormed out. My mother chased after her( because Gina accidentally took her pocketbook) And Gina was telling Darius don't ask to see your grandmother again.

My mother cannot tell a story, because, everything she told it it included more stuff like that the doctor asked how many years she smoked. (g-mom be trying to play it off that she is on the way to quitting because she doesn't smoke the regular cigarettes now she smokes these skinner cigs but they are longer so it's the same and she smokes them more than the other ones she used to do) And Gina screamed 1976 so eventually more happened I will pester mom tomorrow to find out these occurrences. But she was to tired because she drove g mom home and she was trying to convince her that smoking was not the cause of her cancer. ( it isn't completely she is a bitter ball of hatred). BY telling her that she knew people that had cancer , and then my mom asked did they smoke and she said yeah to all of them. ( I don't understand how you can be so smart but have no common sense.) I have so much to say you my grandmother but since I am her favorite family member and I'm the only person she treats nice. I don't want to yell at her stop smoking and forgive. But someone needs to tell her this.

Her diagnosis is that she has breast cancer and that she has to have a masectomy. When my mom told me I was like Oh well and my mom was like how can you say that. Because, she is old and she doesn't need them anymore. Then my mom says well what if they had to cut off your testicles. I shrugged ( I feel like it's better to lose her breast than her life) Then I said if it would save my life I wouldn't care. Then she says well what if she meets a gentleman that wants to be with her. ( That woman is so bitter and stuck in the past she can't keep her simple relationships now healthy let alone meet a man.) Than I say to my mom well if someone is going to get with them then they will want her for her not because of her breast. Then she says well most men... She didn't finish her statement. My feelings are if she finds a man and he says I can't date you because you don't have breast then screw him and move on with your life. There are more people out there, but I hardly doubt she is going to start a new relationship with some man. The whole time my mom was holding on to her breast like then I turned to her and said the lesson to be learned is that you need to schedule your mamogram ( I been telling her to get one when she turn 40 but why not now she ain't far from 40). Then she smiles and said Child what you say I scheduled one while I was there. And we laughed. She was stressed out because they cursed at each other in the hospital( She says it was ghetto). But I mean Auntie Gina has been scheduling her appointments for two years I understand her anger. I told my mom a little after that I understand auntie Gina because my mom wants to eat a whole bunch of fat and stuff no veggies and do no exercise when she was told like a couple months that she has high blood pressure. ( She says it was because of so stress, it's because you eat unhealthy.) That is she ends up in the hospital over heart problems that I am going to tell her off because I am always saying where is the salad, exercise, etc.. But she is getting better.

So I hope that the women in my life get themselves together and the men stay together. Dad is taking his license test on Monday then after that he will work irregular shifts. He will start his shifts at 2 a.m and get off whenever. This will probably make me have to be quiet in the afternoon if he is sleeping Lord give me strength to endure his " life change".

-Marz

June 27,2005

Nothing happened today out of the ordinary. Tiger I swear has to have a sleeping disorder all it does is sleep. ( I wish he was more fun and played more). Tomorrow is granma's cancer appointment, I don't know exactly what is going to happen. My mom is trying to make it seem like they are testing for cancer, but, last week she told us they found cancer so I don't know maybe she is having surgery.

I asked my mom can I go( because we never go anywhere, and i'm bored in this house) and she says no because grandma might feel fouchy or something. Then because I always have to make my family see there flaws( because they do it to me) I ask why are you going to see her when you didn't go to see your own mother when she was in the hospital that doesn't make sense. She replies becasue, I have to see if she is telling the truth with ll the disease she made up. Then I say then that's selfish you are trying to make it seem like you are going to support her when really you are trying to get your own closure( I guess) She had a smack face on then she saysI am being partially selfish but I will suppotr her in any way possible. ( WHATEVER)

oh yeah I finished haryy potter and the half blood prince. It was a mess Rowling screwed me over I am so glad that i dind't buy it. (lol) I don't really want tored the seventh one but I will out of curiousness and I mean it might be better than the fourth . Goblet of fire was the truth.

So that is the most about today.

SEPTA

Today nothing happened out of the usuak it was boring and I was happy that that meant that I didn't get angry today. But today was the hottest day of the year and tomorrow is going to be hotter. ( Lord I wish my parents would hook up some AC) So as promised yesterday, today blog is about my dad's new job.

For the last few years my dad has worked at a company that from my understanding puts logos on t-shirts and umbrellas. Mostly, umbrellas, ( the evidence is the millions of them in our house.) Anyway my dad has been applying to many job's over the years: postal worker, bus driver and UPS man have been the main three. Each year he applies to all of them. Two years ago he passed the test for SEPTA, however, he did not find this out until he took the test this year that he already passed and he wasn't contacted or something. ( Oh sorry SEPTA is SouthEastern Public Transportaion assocation and he wants to be a bus driver) This began his new task he was awarded the job, but , he didn't have the license to drive a bus ( not many people do) That began the tiring process of getting his CDL ( commercial driver's license) he began reading the book aloud and recording them on cassetes then playing them in his car, and reading the books for a couple months. He took the test at the beginning of the month and he passed so he went to the SEPTA people and now he is in training to get his license( he will take the test on Monday) Lord let him pass. He is excited about the job and I can tell but his excitement means we have to listen to him talk about buses and whatever, whenever we are trapped in a car for a family gathering. He is shoving things in my face( bus keys) and telling me things that don't make sense. ( he told me not to take his bus pass it's a special kind of transpass that never runs out, because he will lose his job, AM I A THEIF) But I am happy for him overall( especially about the higher salary he will be getting) ( I heard they get paid around $50 an hour but you can't believe hearsay. SO that is my dad's new job. I also he doesn't drive the bus that can take me to school otherwise i will be forced to take the train. and that will be horrible on cold winter mornings.

TIger Joshua

Hello blog I have been waiting to write in you all day. Well today I woke up at whatever time because I don't have a clock in my room. But when I came downstairs it was 2:00. I turned on Starting Over and begin to watch. Most of the times it gives me tips to better handle my life. My dad calls from his new job. ( i'll write about that tomorrow) and he says that at four he wants to get the new cat. first off, why do we just have to be subject to his schedule. second, yes the new cat which means their was an old cat.

We got Joy when i was six and we had to put her down she was a tabby and she was beautfiul and acted as though she was a queen. I never really liked her that much. Because, she was more my sisters pet than mine and I had to take care of her more than anyone else. What happened to her . Well she begin to get this lump on her back and my sister was saying that it was from fleas biting her. WRONG. Joy didn't have fleas, six months later . Everyone is questioning what is wrong with Joy and I was so done with he I just wanted a new cat. When we first told my dad he siad he didn't care he said that it wasn't a priority ( neither was the roof that collapsed and almost killed his whole family) ( thank you Jesus for your protection). So then this bump got bigger and bigger and then one day it popped and blood was everywhere. My mom was saying oh once that heals up then Joy can go on with her life. WRONG AGAIN. Her "bump" bled everyday all around the house and we had to clean up after her. Well maybe if we started giving her saline baths then she will get healthy my dad said. WRONG. I wonder why they didn't think hey let's take her to the vet. Well they did( after three more months). And what did we find out that it was a tumor that if removed had a 90% chance of growing back and the procedure cost $500.00. Right then and there i said kill the cat and let's move on with our lives. But everyone wanted her to live we can nurse her back to regular health. we have these pills and we can give her baths. They thought that was cool. How much more WRONG could they get. That Sunday morning when my sister discovered worms hanging out the side of her flesh then oh no we have to take her to be put down. And my dad acted all crazy because the cat( supposedly) talks to him and he sees it like another child. He was willing to risk the wholes house health for some stupid funky cat( and was she funky ) we had ten good years with her get over it( also if she was supposedly your other child I would hate to see what you would do if a tumor began to grow from my back). So my mother and I took her to be killed. ( She was ready for her to die when she started bleeding all over the house).

So I get ready and then we go to the SPCA, and then we go to the cat and kitten section and we see these two cute black and white kittens. so my dad comes from misc. pets and i was reluctant to go in because i'm thinking well this is going to be other animals like rats and snakes. but there were cats. As soon as we walk into the door, I see these beautiful orange kittens they are so cute. and I totally forgot the other two kittnes we saw in the other room immediately I wanted one of them. So then we are looking at them and my father is saying all this madness. When I remember he distinctly told us he didn't care for this cat and he wants really nothing to do with it. ( Because, my mom says he feels guilty for not taking care of Joy)( He is just in greiving I guess but it's a cat) He's takling about they're boys and all this other junk. So then he sees these two girl kittens that look exactly like Joy.( Usually I am very open with my opinions about things, but not when dad is around but I have learned this has got to change) I say no they are ugly and they look evil ( they did) In addition to his rules of kittens he said he doens't want anything that looks like Joy. THEN WHY ARE YOU GOING TO PICK THE ONES THAT LOOKS LIKE HER. ( AAAAHHH they make me so angry) Then we are thinking about adopting both kittens because they are so cute and we're thinking that they are brothers( and because it was two for one cat deal) Then the man says we have to fill out some paperwork before we can hold any so we go to fill out the paperwork. My dad is outside saying we're not getting two cats. So then my sister and I got back into the room and we are picking which kitten we want then all of a sudden she sees the one across the room.( It looks like the other two but it's smaller because it's younger it looked all depressed and something abnormal was going on with it's paw). My parents rejoin us and because Gabrielle( my sister) says look at this one all of a sudden. Yeah Gabrielle that one is better oh look at it. the other one was cuter and it didn't look all depressed it had fire to it. and the new one she wanted had a sixth paw so it's hand looks like oven mitts ( literally). Then they hold it and my dad is all we should get this one. My mom wants the other one because it's older ( by four weeks) Because she doesn't want a small cat all around the house hiding everywhere. But she thinks the oven mitt one is cute. ( I am trying to get the kitten I want and my dad is trying to trick my mom into what he wants (You said you don't care about the new cat so why do you have a say in the cat we get anyway) So then my mom tells me to leave the room when she comes out she announces that we're getting the over mitt cat. I was so angry, because, i never get what I want I dind't like Joy and I don't want to like this one. I wanted to throw a tantrum but i am to old for that.


We get home and my sister is playing with it, and wrapping it up in pillows. ( it's 88 degrees in this house sure you want to heat up a furry animal by wrapping it in a pillow USE YOUR BRAIN) Then my dad basically says that but in a nicer tone and set of words. then she starts carrying it around in her softball mit. Yeah this one is going to like her and I will be stuck taking care of it just like Joy. TWO MORE YEARS TWO MORE YEARS TWO MORE YEARS until I leave I can't wait. throughout the night. my parenst found new ways to get on my last nerves.

IN a Shorter version

Today we got a cat and my parents love to discredit my feelings and desires.

oh yeah they named the cat Tiger Joshua T.J..

-Marz

Church, Cars and Half Naked Men

Today's church service was alright. But it was afterwards that made me angry. I need to get a hold of that anger it rears up ever so often well anyways. My family ( mom, dad, sister, and I) were to take my moms car to the mechanic's and then leave and go home in my dad's car. That didn't happen the way it was planned.

First of all mother and father always have to have a long conversation with the church members after service. (I guess I understand since we left our church of firfteen years to go to this one that they need new Christian friends. But i mean get someone's number visit their house.) So my sister drove up to the mechanics house with my dad and me with my mom. He lives in West Philly and he is a long time friend of the family. So i was happy to be in the car with my mother cuz we crazy together. Also, because West Philly in the summer is tons of half naked men walking round. ( It's beautiful) We get there and my mom goes into the house and starts talking to Ms. Valerie( the mechaincs wife) . I am like what are you doing, and then my dad is by the car acting like he's a mechanic with the mechanic. Then Ms. Valerie's three annoying little girls run out the house and start following my sister and I around asking questions. SO i walked her to the Puerto Rican store around the corner. When we got back there were these two men in the car blasting rap music and the man in the driver's side kept looking at me. So I am standing outside waiting for my parents to come on and my dad is playing with the three girls like a sort of catch game and I became jealous because, he always plays with other people's kids and not his own when we were little. ( maybe cause my playing experiences with him were traumatic and I didn't want to play with him . But I want it both ways) and then he makes it seem like he only does it cause there parents don't care for them. Right. So then the man in the car gets out and he lifts his car hood and lifts his shirt and then grabs his dick. I love West philly cats. Walking arounmd in their wifebeaters and their shorts right under their butt. and sometimes no shirts it's wonderful. ( No offense to other parts of Philly but I see it most in West Philly)

We finally get into the car, and we drive home then I suddenly got pissed by all the black children on the street all trying to be the same. Dressing the same and having no sense of uniqueness to themselves. It's kind of sad, that these young black boys look up to older black boys( in their mid 20's) perpetrating as a man. God help Black America youths.

At home I locked myself in my room and read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. ( It is so good) so that's today.

-Marz

No need to complain

I have nothing to say i thought I would after all the anger I had at this wasted day but now that I discussed it with people on my buddy list. It is so stupid when there are people dying, and unhappy. At least i was able to experience some happiness today. There is no need to complaim about a day that is so called wasted because, some people didn't get to experince today.

All for today

-Marz

July 22,2005

Well today is a very interesting day it didn't start out that way. It started with me waking up (doing hygiene) and me eating a pop tart and an orange. I was wondering about old navy( which i applied to last month) Yesterday, I called them and some man told me that he would check on my resume and call me back. But he didn't, so i called to see what was happening. After asking for the hire manager I was put on hold. ( you should call old navy and asked to be put on hold they have great hold music) Anyway so the hire manager gets on and basically tells me that if I am what the company is looking for I'll get hired. Then he hangs up so I am kind of mad because if I don't get hired then will I have to waste my whole summer waiting by the phone hoping they'll call. ( not me) So i am going to apply to some other places(one place ) The days goes on and around nine my mom says that my aunt saw a hiring poster in Family dollar and at first I was all like I don't want to work at a dollar store but I am going to swallow my pride and look into it.

Then she goes upstairs for about half an hour when she comes down she says that my Grandma Thelma has breast cancer.Then she asks my sister and I if we want to come to her appointment. I say I'll come and my sister is like i am not coming in this mean tone. Then my mom ask" How do we feel about this". My sister says i don't care. ( my sister has issues with my grandmother because my grandmother has issues with her for the reason of her skin color my sister is light skin and my grandmother is very prejudiced and crazy and she doesn't like light skin women, and my sister has experienced some drama form her as a little girl so i understood her response.) My mom was offended ( even though that is her mother in law and she has received more flack because she is lighter than my sister) because, she feels as though she should be more caring. They began to argue and I am left with how I feel.

How do i Feel? I don't know. My grandmother gets diseases twice a year whenever she isn't getting the attention she desires or feels she deserves, and she makes these up completely and worries the whole family so they rush to her side then test results come back and we realize she made these things up. However, I think that this disease is real, and i believe that she has received cancer because of the hatred and bitterness she has kept with her over the years. Just listening to her speak is a rant an rave of who screwed her over thirty years ago. Cancer is just anger stored away. She needs to let go and forgive before this kills her. I feel that I should be more sad and concerned or whatever, but the truth is grandma and me aren't close. So I don't really feel a connection or sorrowful. But maybe that will change I will try to be there for her.

Well that is all for tonight

-Marz

July 21, 2005

WOW i finally have a blog. WELCOME! ( if this website had emoticons a smiley face would be here so let's just envision it.) Well I don't really have anything to say except. I am not supposed to be up right now because it's against the rules. ( and boy are there many rules) But we'll get to them later right now i would just like to welcome you to my blog readers and enjoy what i have created and will continue to create as i chronicle my teenage years.

Today is july 21 and the important thing that has happened ( in my opinion that is) the London bombings
. It's kind of scary especially since i will be taking transit again when school starts. I wonder why the level of security didn't go up since the one that happened two weeks from today. LORD let them get it together. ANd let america get and stay together.

Well that's bout all for tonight i have to wash dishes

HOLLA

(again if this thing had emoticons i would have a smiley with it's tongue licking out here)
-Marz