OLD DICKS FOR YOUNG HO(L)ES

NON-AVID READERS CAN SKIP THE RED

In high school, many of the girls date men instead of boys. On (too) many occasions, I have heard my girlfriends talk about their current boyfriends, or someone they are talking too. It’s always like," Yeah, he’s 23 and he’s in law school he has his bachelor’s in psychology". Sometimes I get disturbed by this and it makes me think about age and if it matters in a relationship.

I think it starts for the girls when they enter inas frshman. All the senior boys are quick to pounce on them, because they seem easy to sleep with. Because they may lack the knowledge, self-esteem, and just plain out maturity of a fellow female senior who can stand to look at them fully dressed. After they have sex with the senior, they move on, but to an older man. The girls in my school are always saying phrases such as,"I don’t date boys, I date men," and, "I only date people who are five years older than me". It makes me think, "what the hell?"

I mean let’s be realistic, if a 23 year old man is dating a 16 year old girl. HE IS NOT WITH YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, YOUR MIND, OR ANYTHING ELSE HE LIED ABOUT. But then again, I guess knowing how many teenage girls are sexually active, they know grown men are better in bed? ( Question here, because I’ve yet to test out the dynamic. LOL Anyone got an answer.) I mean, sure, plenty could say about me. "You have such a great mind, and I want to learn about it". But In my head all I hear is " Bullshit, you want some booty. STEP."


I think many are influenced by their parents with these types of things. For instance, my parents have been married for almost 18 years, and they are only 6 months apart in age. I think seeing that has somehow made me think I need someone my age. But, I mean boys my age ARE SO STUPID, IMMATURE, DESERVE TO BE LOCKED IN A CAGE UNTIL THEY GORW THE HELL UP. And honestly, I am SOOOO attracted to grown men. ( Let me clarify this a little better because that is so broad.) I am attracted to those men that are like 35 to like 55 ( I sound so gold diggerish right now. LOL) I don’t know, I just see such stability in that age bracket. (For the most part,) they know who they are, what they are trying to do with themselves, done with the foolishness of their twenties, acting as a MAN should, got their grown man weight from their slowing metabolism, and are just so fierce. I think it’s because I just love older people, I HATE children and people in my generation so much, it isn’t funny. OH and wisdom, I love sitting around older people who know who the hell they are and just watch them interact with each other. The wisdom you gain from the elderly is uncanny. ( PLus again, if twenty year old sex is better than teenage boy sex, than let's think about someone with thrityvyears of experience. WHOA. LOL)



MATURE FOR THEIR AGE



So many older people say this when dating someone younger than them. I think this is bullshit too. I mean many point out that I’m (supposedly) mature. But I don’t think I’m mature. I think there has been a degradation of maturity levels in the world, and really I’m living in the maturity level I should be at. But since no one else my age is where I’m at, I’m seen as minority. Or maybe I’m just saying this because calling me mature is like saying I’m this old boring senile person who says random back in my day phrases. (LOL)

I, personally, KNOW I can get a grown man. There is no doubt in my mind. The aduolts are always staring and some approach me, and when they see my book bag it’s always like," What school do you go to?" I tell them, and then there face breaks slightly and they’re like. " OH, so what grade". (I guess because if I’m a senior they can run that," I’m interested in your mind," bullshit.) But I wouldn’t be caught dead with someone my age. I have been thinking lately and I’m like me. So there is definitely a possibility that there is another boy my age, my speed in Philly. Saying that I'm the only one would be foolish, right?

STORY FROM LAST WEEK

I was going to my English 101 class, and I was getting on the train. I entered the threshold, and because my stop was two stops away, I stood at the door. But there were plenty of seats to be filled on the train. On the other side of the door, standing against the other partition, was this man. (Oh I was dressed in my GAP and looking grown. LOL) He started up some conversation and it was cute. Oftentimes when I’m in the middle of a conversation with some random person, I always note how we got there. That way I can learn some social skills. Our conversation is here:

"What are you listening to?"
" HUNH?" AS I push the pause button on my cd player.
" What are you listening to?"
" Oh Tobymac"
" Tobymac, what does he sing?"
" Oh well, ummm ( my music is different and hard to explain) he sings a bunch of different kinds of music."
We talked about music for a second, and since he didn’t know my people he asked me about Jay-Z and the locs ( I think that was their name. ) All the while I am thinking,"No this grown ass man is not scoping me out".
"What school you go to?" ( AS usual)
I told him, and then he asked my grade on key. I told him, his face broke slightly, but then he looked me over and I guess he thought, "I could deal with that".
Then he says ( this is the funny part)," SO where is your girl?"
I laughed, and shrugged my shoulders and say," I don’t know." ( I was going to say really cool," I like dudes". But not on the train going Northbound with whomever may have a gun onboard.)
Then he smiled,"you ain’t got a girl?"
"NAW"
Then he started just filling in blanks for me, that I was waiting for a "wifey" and not any ole smut. That is what he was looking for too, a wifey. Then he talks about how he has two," Oh I mean kids, not wifeys". ( ARE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES YET READING THIS?)

But he was nice, I continued to talk. He started to RANDOMLY mention what part of the city he lived in. He wondered where I was going, if my school was in the direction I was heading. I left him on my stop, with him telling me to do well in school, because he had to go back and get his diploma. He kept acting like he didn’t want me to go, and then he said off hand that he was 19. Then my mind was like," You know that’s not that bad, and he is hot." ( Well he was sexy, not hot.) I left the train somehwat confused as to his orientation. I mean he was definitely flirting. I DON’T KNOW. I then began to go to one of my EVIL QUALITIES. ( That I am constantly trying to rid myself of. MANIPULATION. Then I started to think about how I sort of gave off that COMEFUCKME vibes, by standing right in front of him, instead of sitting. But that’s how I do on trains. I STAND. I guess this has lost its relevance to the post ( if it had any to begin with.) I sooo don’t need any interference in my life by any of the males in the world. ESPECIALLY WITH HOW I HAVE NO SEX DRIVE NOW. ( Oh it sounds bad, but IT IS WONDERFUL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I’m feeling this part of puberty.) Besides I needn’t get into the technicalities that having a boyfriend couldn’t exist with who my parents are, and how I would have to lie to get a minute with the fool. (LET’S PLEASE MOVE ON.) ( BITCH YOU’RE THE WRITER.) (LOL)



But age isn’t maturity, and vice versa. But I guess with age comes other things. For instance, most twenty-year-older’s have cars. ( Which is really stupid because everyone knows that when you buy a car the value goes down from the moment it leave the lot. But if you buy property (hopefully a HOUSE) the value will go up. ) So, they think in their mind," I gave this young boy a ride, he owes me some head." DON’T MAKE ME HAVE TO CUT A HOE. I can’t deal with the drama. (LOL) And I mean one day, I’ll be in my twenties. If I’m (Let’s say) 22 and I’m with a 17 year older, what the hell does he have for me? I GUESS IT’S BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYONE IN THE OLDER 80'S GENERATION ARE WHORES AND CHILD MOLESTERS, THAT I’M GETTING THIS IMPRESSION. ( Aww that was kind of hard. I would say some...) Because I mean, just because you’re with someone younger that doesn’t mean you’re trying to run a scheme. But many see the younger as easy targets, because they’re naive, confused, and blind to people and their ways. Sometimes I think about rallying one of the younger boys, because they have that confusion that is just so easy to prowl on. But I don’t. ( Is that why the older mos prowl on the confused, plus the fact that they are usually sitting on virgin booty?)

But that’s not me. Naivete and confusion are words far from me. Also, we could add in the factor that my generation looks so damn grown. I mean when I’m in the bank almost every teller has said something on the lines of, "You can’t use your high school I.D anymore, because you’re not in high school. Do you have your driver’s license handy?" I am always like, WHAT? I am 16. " Oh, you are." I mean I am taller than so many adults. ( Not saying height determines age, but I am like 6'1 now.) One of my girlfriends last year, had a grown woman’s body, and a built grown woman’s body at that. She had 40-year-old men giving her houses. ( It was some Italian man who owned a construction company), and he was going to leave his wife to be with her. SHE WALKED AROUND WITH THE DAMN DEED IN HER BOOKBAG DECIDING IF SHE WANTED HIM.

I DON"T KNOW. Does anyone else think that high school kids should leave adults alone when dating? HELL. DO you think I should leave men alone and be with BOYS? Or should we be applauding my girlfriend for snatching up a lawyer at 16?

Because, lately I have been tempted to just walk up to some grown ass people. I do look older, and my LAWD. YALL JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND I COULD HAVE ME A GROWN ASS MAN. (LOL) ( but I’m so off males. )

I'm feeling really random today.



-Marz