Going Home

This evening, I am returning to Philadelphia. I have not been home since I was delivered, by hand, to New York by my parents. My peers have been homesick. I am too busy enjoying life to miss Philly. But, I am anxious and nervous to see my friends, family, acquaintances and enemies. I truly miss my parents and hope that we can interact as three adults. I've forgiven them for all the nonsense they did to me: punishing me all summer, allowing their views of me to be depicted by homophobic ministers, not seeing me. I think they see me now, or will. My mother is definitely going to see my skull earrings. I can't wait to see her face. My relationship with my father is growing, slowly but surely. I'm interested to see if we can hold a conversation without me getting angry, or without him getting defensive.

This trip is going to be amazing. I have closure to obtain and people to let go; transgressions to forgive and new relationships to begin. People predicted I would be killed or contract something. Many think I just came up here to be "gay". Others still think I made my school up. I was so hung up on trying to prove these people wrong. But, I don't have to prove myself to anyone, nobody is that important. I know who I am. They will see who I am. They will say I've changed, and I will smile. If they don't see the change, oh well.

I'm excited. My high school alumni day. The Thanksgiving parade. Thanksgiving dinner. Black Friday shopping. Saturday parties. Sunday service.

This is going to be a wonderful Thanksgiving. I can feel it, and will read the person DOWN who tries to ruin my happiness.


-Marz