I, once, purposely lost myself, leaving clues in detailed caligraphy for a man to follow perfumed with the smell of US in afterglow...because I did not want to find me, boring, alone, ugly. Clues I followed, though, through tears, gentle smiles, apologies spoken to shards of broken mirrors to find a self I constructed for another to find...attractive. The journey led me to me and I disproved the destinations' findings.
I have spent time, like it is not a recession, on other people's dreams, listening to their fears, massaging their broken hearts; and their accounts are full with not a dime to spare for this brotha...NO MORE!
I want to know the intonations of my laugh, the depths of my dimples. I have learned the color of my love, paprika, and the names of some past lives, Jimmy, Edna.
Before I painted on canvases with selected colors, quiet pastels from my minister parents to keep things wholesome, simple watercolors to be erased by the academy. Now, I finally own rich hued oils to paint my white picket dreams with some acrylics left over in case I need to add some thing.
I understand all my jokes. I love all my favorite songs. I love my body even when it may be adorned in an unfavorable outfit. I have been there for myself not all nineteen years, but a good majority. I can bring myself to climax. I am perfect enough for me, and everything I need.
I love me.
http://twitter.com/uphii I change it every so often, but this one is STICKING!!!
-Marcus "Marz" B,
4 comments:
thank you for saying what i've been trying to articulate since last summer.
hello, old friend!
WOW! Man you are a tremendous writer. SO well spoken in this realization of self approval. I am in awe and glad I came across your blog.
hi marz! i've been reading your blog a long time and appreciate your writing a lot. my comment is the deleted one on your june 26, 2007 entry. i deleted it because when folks google my name, the language issue works against me a bit! i'm a proponent of using whatever vocabulary's needed, but could i please, please ask you to remove the trace of my deleted comment, if humanly possible? it's still coming up in the top searches under my name in google. i'm really sorry to ask ~ and thank you SO MUCH if you're willing to help.
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